Internet Challenges
by Sadstuckforever413
Summary: Dave and John do internet challenges. It gets steamy... Not really. Enjoy Dave and John being dorks! :) Dave/John forever... and stuff.


Hotel rooms are often adorned with everything a standard living room/bedroom/kitchen could need, and yet you still find them out of place and boring, don't you? There is everything there that you would normally need to goof off and be lazy, but you still refrain from doing anything. So you end up stuck in a boring limbo where you don't do anything and end up staring at the clock for entertainment. That's how it was with me and Dave. The red and beige wallpaper had become a bit too bright and the news had become a low buzz and had faded _into_ the red and beige wallpaper. If it hadn't been for the occasional car passing by outside, I might have gone insane. I think I did go insane. Eventually, Dave was driven out of his depth. He flipped off the couch and stalked off to go brood in the bathroom. And yet he still hadn't lost his cool. I looked around the room for something, anything, to do to draw him out of the bathroom before he started stealing the fancy soaps. Suddenly my eyes lit up with an idea. This was such a good idea, my brain hurt from the excitement.

"Dave!" I stood at the bathroom door. " I have an idea!"

I hurried off to the little kitchenette and grabbed two bowls, a package of crackers, some cinnamon, and a spoon. I set up my little presentation on the counter, crackers in a bowl, and my cinnamon off to the side. I looked down at it and was pleased with my brilliant plan. Just then, Dave appeared at the door of the bathroom, clutching a bottle of applejuice.

"What do you want, Egbert?"

" Come here, Dave. We're doing Internet challenges!"

I beamed.

" Whoever wins the most challenges is the most manly. And just so you know, Dave, I plan on winning."

Dave scoffed at me. " Yeah, sure John. What are we doing first?" He glanced down at the crackers I had set up.

" The Saltine Challenge. Whoever can eat the most crackers in one minute, wins. Think you can handle it, Dave?"

" You kiddin' me? I could do this in my sleep, Egderp."

"Alright, Dave." I rolled my eyes. " You got your alarm set?"

Dave pulled out his phone and scrolled through the alarms. " One minute set."

I nodded. " And. Go!"

It really was a lot harder than it seemed. The crackers quickly dried out my mouth and they took up a lot of room. I honestly did try to stuff as many as I could in there, but I just couldn't. As I tried to talk, the crackers muffled my voice, and me and Dave ended up making weird grunts and moans as we both tried to form solid words. Eventually, the timer went off and I swallowed the last of my crackers. As I was catching my breath, Dave was counting our crackers. He paused and looked up at me.

" Fuck you Egbert."

I grinned.

" 1 Point for me then. Alright, Dave. Since I won the last challenge, I get to choose what we do next."

I paused for tension.

" You have to drink that entire bottle of applejuice in one breath."

Dave stared at me, shocked.

" Dude! You can't waste perfectly good applejuice like that! This stuff should be treasured!"

I shook my head and went to go put up the bowls and crackers. When I came back, I found him cradling the applejuice in his hands, licking the cap and caressing it as though it were a child of some sort. " Dave?"

He looked up at me, mid-lick and paused.

" Don't judge me, I was raised by a guy!" He ran off to the bathroom to caress his applejuice alone. When he finally came back, he was pouting and the applejuice bottle was empty.

" Ok, I get to challenge you this time. I dare you to do the Cinnamon Challenge!" He pointed at the cinnamon that was on the counter.

" Dave, I can't do that. I'll have an asthma attack! You know, where I start gasping and can't breath? That stuff'll get in my lungs, and I won't do anything that'll put me in the hospital."

" So, in other words, you're chicken?"

"No! I – Nevermind. You can do it. You win by default."

He shook his head.

" Sad, Egbert. Sad." He poured a tablespoon of cinnamon into his mouth.

" Shit can't be that difficult." I turned away. A few minutes later, I came back, and he was on the ground, cinnamon covering his face.

" Dave, I told you that stuff was dangerous." I laughed.

" Fuck you." He coughed, and stood up slowly, a puff of red smoke billowing out of his mouth.

" So, if you want to play hardcore, I can do that Egbert." I swallowed.

" I dare you to play a round of Gay Chicken. Basically, it's to see how homo you can go."

"I don't know. You're pretty homo Dave." He smiled. "Ok, fine. I'll play Gay Chicken."

" Cool."

He slid towards me.

" How homo can you go Egbert?"

He smiled and his face came ever closer. Soon we were meer inches away from each other and I felt like backing away. _Fine, _I thought. _If he can do this, so can I. _I leaned forward too, and our lips met in the middle. It was kind of awkward; I refused to back away and Dave kept moving into me, wrapping his arms around my waist. After a few seconds of sitting in that awkward limbo, Dave decided to slip his tongue in my mouth and swirl it around a bit. I almost choked.

" You gonna back away yet Egderp?" Dave managed to say between our kisses.

I shook my head and, in response, slid my hand up his shirt and rubbed his chest. He flinched and smiled at me.

" You're gonna get it Egbert."

" Yeah right, Dave."

He kissed me again, harder this time, stepping back every few seconds, only to breath. I shivered, indulging in the soft slide of our lips. He slid his hand up my shirt as well and kissed me still harder. Soon he tired of that as well and slowly slid his hand down my pants. Just as he reached the lining of my underwear, I stopped.

" Dave?"

" Do I win?"

" Uh huh."

I nodded and stepped back, staring at me feet, my face burning red. He laughed and stuck his hands in the air in a victory cheer.

" The Strider cannot be beaten."

I ducked my head and ran off to rinse my mouth out. I could still taste Dave. When I returned from my momentary banishment, Dave had his computer set up on the desk and was grinning at me.

" Next challenge. You have to watch Two Girls One Cup."

His smile grew wider and I stared at him.

" Come on."

It didn't sound that bad, so I sat next to him as he clicked play. I only lasted about a minute. The whole time I was gasping for air and trying to not look away. My horror was only accented by the soft elevator music playing in the background. I finally just couldn't stand it. I ran off gagging and trying to wipe away the horrifying images I had seen. When I came back Dave was still watching it, smiling.

" This isn't my style, Egbert but..."

" Dave you won. You can turn it off now."

He paused.

" No... I don't think I will Egderp."

I sighed.

" Thanks again for forcing me to do this."

" Sure thing, Dave. Sure thing."

I sighed again and rolled my eyes.

The Strider cannot be beaten.

That's all I have to say.


End file.
